Vh1 Shows: Love & HipHop Season 3 Finale #LHHNY

Posted on April 15, 2013

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*sighs* Let’s just get this over with…

So “Love & HipHop” finally ended and I couldn’t be more happier. If it wasn’t for this blog and Twitter, I would have paid this show dust. The drama on this show was at many times very convoluted and scripted. It just didn’t seem real. And I know that almost every reality show is scripted these days, at least make me feel like it’s not. This show was just so mapped out that it made watching it a struggle.

Then there were so many stranger bitches on this show that it made it hard to connect with these cast of characters. It just seemed like a totally different show from seasons before. The only familiar faces were Yandy, Erica Mena and Olivia. But Olivia don’t count cause homegirl wasn’t even in the credits! Which we still never got an answer as to why that was. But not like I gave a fuck to care so….moving on. There were so many people on this one show that it seemed like each person got like a minute and 30 seconds of air time an episode. The fuck was that about Mona Scott-Young? So much random Shit was cramped into each episode, yet none was it was remotely interesting. I was so over it.

Lets discuss the most non factor of the new girls. Spring, or whatever season this stranger bitch was named after, was one of the new girls introduced on the show. And she had what was perhaps the most ratchet introduction ever. This girl basically introduced herself as the woman who sucked every rapper’s dick who was relevant from 2001-2005. Like homegirl went down a roster of the men she plopped that pussy on. And I was like really? This is how you want people to know you as? I don’t even know what exactly she did in the HipHop world aside from using her mouth as a personal daycare. I think she was someone’s intern. Who gives a shit. But her major storyline was a book that she released where she detailed in full all of her scandalous encounters with the hasbeen rappers she laid on her back for. Now I know y’all who are reading this is like “Damn you just calling Fall all kinds of whores and sluts.” I honestly don’t care that she puts it on every rapper’s sideburns. That’s her life. I’m not mad at the way she went about her come-up. The thing that disturbs my spirit is that she gives no fucks about it. Like can she have a smidge self-respect? How can I respect her when she can’t even respect herself? Anywho, back to Summer’s book. She had her “friend” Lorea’l in the book and basically aired out all of the girls scandal past. Without her permission. How fucked up is that? At that moment, Lorea’l should have wailed on Autumn! Cause that deserved a proper ass whooping. How dare she document Lorea’l’s ratchet past in a book like that? What type of friend does that? But see this show was edited in a way where shit was solved in two minute segments per episode. So that made it hard to really care about what was going on. Look I’m done with this seasonal bitch. Who’s next…

There was Rashidah Ali, or as I liked to call her, Akuma from Street Fighter. I mean seriously did she use red kool-aid packets to get her scalp that red? I mean she was dripping red sweat! It was that bad! And then she has the nerve to talk about her hair is $1000. Like whoever you got that weave from overcharged you like $980. Cause that hair looked cheap. But anywhoo, Akuma is known for selling shoes or some shit. But really she is known for her credit card fraud antics and stealing niggas money in schemes. And I believe the latter. Cause Akuma’s style just reads bottom of the discount bin to me. Her major drama on the show was her beef with Raqi Thunder. Which I didn’t understand, because Akuma called Raqi industry pussy, but word on the street is Akuma slanged that pussy around the HipHop game herself. So she’s basically pointing the three fingers back to herself when she points the one at Raqi. Whatever. Again, the show never really delved all that much into the backstory of the drama between Akuma and Raqi. Which made it hard for me to care about what was going on in the episodes that dealt with the beef. Which was my major grip of this season.

Let’s talk more about Raqi Thunder. It seemed as if Raqi didn’t get along with anyone. She had drama with Akuma, Jen The Pen, Consequence aka Chompers aka Cujo, Joe Budden, and Tahiry. And in each argument, Raqi came out looking like the dumb one. I just couldn’t understand it. Watching this show, it was evident that Joe Budden and Raqi had fucked. If they aint fuck, Raqi probably sucked Joe’s tiny ass dick. Basically she’s a sidepiece. And she’s hurt about that, which caused drama between her and Tahiry. But again, that drama was swept away pretty quickly after two episodes to make room for the real triangle that we will get to in a minute. But I just couldn’t get behind Raqi. Only time I kinda liked her was when she was shading Akuma. Other times, Raqi was an annoying loud mouth who lost every argument she got herself in. Like I mentioned with SnowStorm, I don’t even know exactly what Raqi does in the HipHop field. She says she’s a DJ or some shit but ummm….receipts? Where are they? That’s what I thought.

You had Jen The Pen and her husband Consequence. Cons to me was known as either Chompers or Cujo. Depending on whatever emotion he displayed during his appearances. But seriously, what was up with those teeth? They were so obnoxiously huge! I didn’t know whether I should throw a bone at Consequence, or strap a saddle on his back and ride him in the Kentucky Derby. Anyways, back to Jen. The major storyline with Her and Cujo was the whole religion thing. Chompers is a staunch Muslim and that doesn’t allow Jen to celebrate holidays with her newborn baby in the way she use to growing up in her Christian household. Now I understand everyone saying that Jen knew what she was getting herself into when she married Cujo. But all the poor girl wanted to do was celebrate one holiday. I don’t get why he couldn’t let Jen celebrate Christmas with their son. Just one holiday. That’s an easy compromise right? That storyline got old quickly, so Mona Scott thought it was a good idea for Jen and Raqi to get into the radio game together. Which was obviously a bad idea but good for reality TV. Jen and Raqi are so different, so it was a matter of time until they begin to argue with each other. Listen, I don’t care that Jen said she would get a job fast because she’s white. If that was the case, Jen would have a job in radio right now. So obviously that was just Jen talking shit. Then we have Chompers trying to give everyone on the show studio time. Olivia, Erica, and Lorea’l all had failed attempts with Chompers in the studio. I couldn’t get behind him saying light skin is the right skin seeing as how he’s the darkest shade of brown. Made me feel like he has some skin color issues. But again, I couldn’t give a fuck.

We also had two major relationship issues going on with this show. The first was was with Tahiry, Joe Budden, & Kaylin. I think Kaylin is a beautiful girl. I wouldn’t let her give me head with those razor teeth of hers, but she’s still a pretty girl. Its just that she’s sooooooo stupid! She stood there and allowed Joe to sneak around Tahiry over and over again. And speaking of Tahiry, she stayed talking about how she’s done with Joe. That she can’t deal with Joe and his bullshit and his collection of gay jean vests. ¬†And yet she allowed Joe to keep coming back to her front door. And she kept fighting people over Joe. But remember y’all, she don’t want shit to do with this nigga. This is what I don’t get about females at times. They say they don’t want to fuck with a nigga, but they keep letting the trifin nigga come around they house. If Tahiry was truly over Joe Budden, she wouldn’t even still have his number in her phone. When Joe comes around Tahiry’s many jobs, she would tell that nigga to leave. But it was obvious that Tahiry was not over Joe. And the triflin thing that I did not like about Tahiry was that she gave zero fucks about Kaylin or her feelings. Tahiry knew that Kaylin was Joe’s current girlfriend. Whatever problems Joe had, Kaylin should’ve been the one to handle them. Not Tahiry. When Tahiry was going to the Dominican Republic, her ass could of taken Akuma if she needed support. They friends, right? She was just being disrespectful to Joe’s relationship with Kaylin. That’s why Joe’s ass went off and fucked Kaylin when he was suppose to be making things work with Tahiry. Listen, at the end of the day, Joe is a triflin ass nigga with small ass dick. There should be no reason as too why multiple women are fighting over him.

The other major relationship issue was Erica Mena and Rich Dollaz. Chile when I tell y’all this relationship exhausted me! I was super annoyed with these two and their constant back and forth. Seriously, how could one even deal with someone as manic as Erica? Homegirl is crazy! Like she is certifiable! She needs some type of medication. I am convinced. Because her mood swings have a touch of bipolar with them. I mean her pussy must be bomb for Rich to deal with this girl’s constant screaming at him and shit. And with Richa Dollaz ass always looking like he about to burst out in tears, it really has me worried for his health. Like this relationship can cause anyone to have multiple heart attacks. But then I saw the leaked pic of Rich Dollaz and that small, stumpy penis and I understood why Rich stays. You don’t find a lot of women willing to stay with a nigga who has a small dick. Then we were introduced to another stranger bitch named Tiffany, who apparently hooked up with Erica! All of a sudden, Erica is bisexual and bumping pussies with this Tiffany girl! Where did this come from?! There was no allusion to Erica liking woman. Which made me think that was another idea that Mona Scott Young and her team of producers came up with as a last minute ditch to try and make this season interesting. Hey, Mona? It didn’t work. Although it did give us a ratchet fight at a lip gloss event between Erica and Tiffany.

If this show is going to come back, I really hope that changes are made. Get rid of Blizzard, Akuma, Raqi Thunder & Jen The Pen. They added nothing to this season. They can add Tiffany cause I feel she would be a good antagonist for Erica Mena if they choose to keep her crazy ass around. Give Yandy something productive to do aside from waiting for her boo, Mandeeces aka 25 Cent (don’t he look like a bootleg 50 Cent?) to come out of jail. Let Olivia go because she will forever remain a flop who is stuck in December. And really stick with storylines and give them the proper screen time to develop throughout the season. That was the major thing that was lacking in this season.

OTHER RANDOM THOUGHTS:

- Joe Budden should really start selling jean vests. The gays would be all over it and bedazzle it with all sorts of studs and shit. I smell new merchandise…

- How many jobs did Tahiry have? She was a waitress, a bartender, a janitor, a candy striper, then wanted to be a rapper, and I think she sold Avon products on the side. I don’t know.

- How were any of these people affording the fancy cars they were driving around in? Mona Scott damn sure ain’t paying these niggas good money like that. Vh1 better come through with those rental cars!

- I’m tired of all of these women thinking they are businesswomen. Y’all aint doing shit but being the face on a low budget product. The only one who is a legit businesswomen is Yandy. She had her shit together before she got on that show.

- Everyone on this shows sucks at using this show as a platform to branch out into other endeavors. The only thing anyone was able to do this season was get a Top 10 hit on iTunes. And anyone can do that.

- When the fuck is “Love & HipHop: Atlanta” coming on? Cause thats real ratchetness right there. And its entertaining. Unlike this shit.